March 2013
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cometissa:
I want to get my shit together and turn my life around but I also want to die
I’ve been binging pretty much every day for two years now, I don’t know how to stop myself and I’m really at my limit.. I don’t know how to get help for it
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I realized I have two monsters inside me
hollow & vengeance, that’s what I’ll call them
hollow haunts me horrible but not so often
vengeance has a mild presence but the consequences are much worse
because with vengeance, I don’t have any control. she forces me into actions that are just to spite myself (she makes me binge)
she’s around so often and I wish she would...
November 2012
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why am I so broken
i went out saturday night and i had a lovely time, i ended up kissing a boy who i thought was completely cute and he called me ‘beautiful’ as we were leaving my friend told him to give me his number, and so he did i havent texted him yet and im still not sure if i should. i much prefer to give out my number, that way it’s up to them if they want to make something happen but...
the anxiety always eats at my insides when i’m left alone when the only plans for my day revolve around the four walls of my home i can leave them when i need to work without any pain i can push past it but for some reason when i’m stuck here im almost crippled by it i’d love to spend the whole day inside my bed, the sheets as my shield as if my head were in a hole underground...
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after i finished work today my friends and i spent some time at max brenner, the chocolatier
i had my last lunch break at 2 so naturally i was starving when we arrived
but I didn’t order anything nor did I pick at their food
I rejected every bite they offered me despite the fact that I was so empty inside
it was torment but I’m so proud that I didn’t give in
once I came home...
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i have had the strangest year im at my absolute highest weight ever yet ive been so happy and ive had a lot of attention from guys this year more this year than every other year put together actually not just boys strangers too i’ve been told that i’m beautiful by so many different people this year and you know what?
it’s motivating if i can be beautiful while i weigh this much,...
April 2012
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after scrolling down my dash for a bit im in tears and i want to throw everything i just said out of the window
i’ll take those lack of emotions back if i can just feel thinner
right now i’m so strong, im hungry but im not going to eat i want to just keep this up i dont fucking care anymore i think i might just cut myself
hello everyone~ i’m not sure if anyone who follows me is still active, or even remembers me, but i feel like making a post. right now, my weight is over 80kg. probably closer to 90kg. i haven’t weighed myself in over a year. i’m eating like an obese monster and i cant stop even though i am trying i’m 18 now and in university, every day i struggle to fit into clothes that i...
June 2011
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i haven’t eaten anything all day im going to try to keep it up for at least tomorrow maybe even wednesday then thursday it’ll be fruit and vegetables lots and lots and lots of them and nothing else im going to get this weight off me so fast
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